The Power of Love

No, this isn't about the 80's power ballad. Yes, I have enjoyed Back to the Future. Nope, I haven't been to see the musical yet. Yup, I've heard that there are pyrotechnics. Wild.

You might be wondering what this post is all about. If you're seeing this for the first time via the new JAG Slater company page on LinkedIn, then you might be really confused:

Why is a leadership coach writing about love? What does that have to do with me?

The answer: Everything.

I believe that all of us are here, ultimately, because of Love. This is a belief I have been coming to slowly, yet surely. It has taken a succession of heartache, sorrow, heart-wrenching experiences, obstacles and challenges, mixed with periods of poor mental health, to reach this belief.

This is that story. Part of it, anyway.

Love & The Royal Marines

When I underwent leadership training as part of my MBA (Masters degree in Business Administration) at a world-class business school, one of my tutors was an ex-Major in the Royal Marines. One conversation with him stuck in my mind.

I was concerned that my personality 'type', according to the psychometric tool that we used, was not suited to positions of leadership. (I presented as a strong 'green', for anyone who is interested.)

My question to the ex-Marine was whether it was possible for me, as a soft-hearted, empathetic, people-person to be a leader. His response took me by surprise.

"Love is a powerful motivator," he said.

What? This tough, rubgy-playing military veteran was talking to me about... love? In a business school? Surely, I was missing something.

What Was I Missing?

Well, it turned out that I was missing something. I was missing something quite crucial. In fact, I believe I was missing something that was fundamental - to everything.

Throughout my career, I have worked with some of the world's most well-known brands on talent and leadership development programmes. (This is not a boast: it's true. I've learned, among many other things, that it is ok to speak the truth. In fact, it's the best policy.)

However, for as long as I could remember, I was always trying to prove myself. Never quite good enough, to my own standards or those of the people around me. I might deliver the most life-changing workshop session I'd ever experienced, but then I'd miss out on a simple piece of admin afterwards. Or before. And then the self-flagellation started....

So, what was I missing? Self-esteem? Self-awareness? No, I believe that was I was missing was the - simple? - truth that I am loved.

Love in A Garden

Recently (I won't say how recently), I was sitting in a garden. A friend and mentor of mine (everyone should have some of those, if they can help it; I thoroughly recommend it, even if mine do get on my nerves sometimes) had suggested that I should experiment with some silent, contemplative prayer. This might be similar to 'meditation' or 'mindfulness' for some, but perhaps with more of an external focus. Practices differ, as do beliefs: examine the impact(s) for yourself.

While I sat in silence, I became aware of a 'still, small voice'. It wasn't an external voice, as though I was 'hearing voices' as a symptom of mental illness (though I know how it could sound like that to some readers.) This was very different to any nightmarish experiences I have had, when recovering from a psychotic breakdown in the past, for example. So, I think I know what I am talking about from experience: This was not that.

It was a sort of silence. The sensation was one of peace. Its message?

That I am loved**.

Bringing it Right Up-to-Date

For further context and transparency, I've been facing some health challenges recently. My doctor told me last week that I might be bipolar. This would explain some things, and could provide a helpful lens for me to view my self-management. (I am very fortunate to have a wonderful doctor, a fantastic therapist, and very supportive family, friends and colleagues.)

However, I'm writing this with tears in my eyes. Life is hard; there's no denying that. Almost all the major world religions agree. For me, in this moment, those tears might be in part because of my change in medication, because of my lack of sleep from a hyper-active brain, or for any one of an innumerable other list of reasons. This world is broken.

Only One Person, I believe, offers a lasting solution to all of this. A cosmic solution, not a temporary fix or a short-term 'high'. The reason This Person can do so is because they are eternal: they loved me before the world began, and will love me until the end.

Why does this matter?

For me, it changes everything. The weight has lifted. That burden of trying to be 'perfect' has gone. It doesn't actually matter what other people think about me,

because I know that I am loved.

Utterly. Eternally. Before I could do anything to deserve it or earn it or prove it.

Loved.

It's so beautiful that I don't know if I'll ever stop crying about it, until That Person wipes away every tear from the place where we will be. I long for you to join me there. It's going to be beautiful.

Until then, I have a job to do. I am a coach, and an author, a public speaker and a thought leader in the talent development space.

What difference does this make to you?

You can still expect me to deliver a 'world-class' coaching service with kindness (per one of my client testimonials). Please note, however: I won't be too bothered if you don't agree with me. I won't mind too much if you are offended by something I say (though I don't intend to be deliberately offensive, of course). Ask any of my friends what I am truly like and I am not expecting to be shocked by the answers: I am human. I am Jeff. I am loved.

Let me help you to find your way into that timeless Truth:

You are loved.

And that changes everything.

Further Reading & Notes

Some of these (marked **) were what came to me in my recent experience in a garden.

**Revelation 13:8

**Jeremiah 1:4-10 (I have always vibed with Jeremiah. 'Fire in my bones', for my people. He was called The Weeping Prophet, and Jesus was similar: indeed, some people thought Jesus was Jeremiah. Jesus wept:

• At the tomb of His friend - John 11:35

• When entering Jerusalem, knowing He would die for the people who would crucify Him - Matthew 23:37-39, Luke 19:28-48

• On the cross - Matthew 27:47.

^Jesus' was a fully human experience, in which He suffered rejection, pain and loss. His own family thought He was mad (Mark 3:21), and one of His closest friends betrayed Him (Judas Iscariot).

My Song is Love Unknown - hymn by Samuel Crossman

The Sacrifice - poem from collection The Temple by George Herbert

I Corinthians 13 - incl. a powerful description of what Love in action looks like.

John 15:13 - perhaps the most moving description of all. This is what He did. For us.

Dominion - book by Tom Holland, co-host of The Rest Is History podcast*

Cold-Case Christianity - J. Warner Wallace*

A note: You are welcome to disagree with me about the fundamental nature of the Person of Jesus Christ. My question and challenge to you is this: who else in the course of human history has left such a lasting impact*, affecting arts, politics (for better or for worse; often misinterpreted for the worse to justify selfish human means), education, the empowerment of minorities, medicine, modern science - in a word, liberty to the captives, healing to the sick and the recovery of sight to the blind - without a credible hint of personal scandal?

...

About the author and disclaimer:

Jeff Slater is a leadership coach, speaker and author. His views are his own, and do not necessarily represent any other organisation or persons with which he is, has been or will be affiliated. Thank you.